My Life Is Being Planned Out On Notecards

04 October 2014

I know that the title is a bit strange, but I promise it will make sense. Have you ever had friends and/or family try to plan your life? How about your someone you aren't even dating? Well my friends have been doing exactly that.

A couple of years ago my mom made this comment about how I should be dating this friend of mine because we just get along and get each other so well. She proceeded to tell my grandma and some other extended family members. So I have been getting questioned about whether this friend and I are dating or talking about dating on a regular basis. This started out as just being a family thing. Then we started to go around talking about this idea of how he and I could get married and save on tuition. 

At this point our friends at school started to ask the questions my mom had been and is (still) asking. I got these questions on a fairly regular basis from a variety of people. Are you two dating? Are you thinking about dating? Do you want to date? Why aren't you two dating yet? And the list goes on and on. 

Eventually this grew to include our church family. They started to ask me such questions, although there was one lady from my church whose family I am fairly involved with who really talked it through with me as opposed to just asking questions galore. Everyone else seemed to just ask question after question. 

Since the end of last year there have been a few more friends from school who had been on the fence about this hypothetical relationship who have since joined the bandwagon. They have decided that they ship this friend and I. They have even created a hashtag for it and even started to name our children. It is a regular topic of conversation that they have while I just sit there and half listen, half block them out. 

As I sit there and listen to them plan this wedding that they are anticipating for a couple years down the road, I am rolling with a bunch of emotions. Part of me is totally on board with this idea of the two of us dating and can see us together down the road, but the other part of me doesn't want to get my hopes up and just wants to nix it all in the bud before it all gets out of hand. 

I am confused. I have so many emotions and a lot to say about it, but I don't know how to say it or how to even got about starting the conversation. Mostly because of one little detail...

He is currently dating someone else.

Most recently one of my roommates decided to draw one of those car sticker families (you know the, dad, three kids with various objects representing hobbies, and all of the family pets...) on a notecard with the name of all of our children and our cat. All hypothetical of course, but she wants it to happen. She threw this card in his mail box on campus and he got it yesterday/today. His comment that he texted her, as well as the similar one about the hashtag, goes something like "I am going to kill you. I can't believe you did this." and so on and so forth.

When called out about why he is against it his response was that he would care too much. I don't even know how to feel about it all anymore. There are so many feelings in my heart and thoughts in my mind. I don't know if i'm even articulating them well here. 

My life is literally being planned out on these little 4x6 notecards. 
One part of me is annoyed by it, another part of me gets caught up in imagining it happening.

I don't even know how to really end this post seeing as it is really just my rambling/ranting. I just don't know who to talk to about all of this. If you have any advice or thoughts, maybe experience with a similar situation, feel free to share.

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  1. Augh! This is just so not ok. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with these ridiculous emotions that others are bringing up in your life!

    1. It's okay I guess. I was never really bothered by it before because it was only brought up occasionally, but this is becoming an almost daily discussion. It's frustrating and can make for some interesting moments when this is brought up around this friend.


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