Fears...We All Have Them

19 December 2013

This song by City Harbor is one of my favorites right now and I think it sorta has to do with the topic of this post, at least for me anyways.

This past Sunday in church the sermon had to do with Fear.
What are our fears?
Why are we afraid?
Who can take them away?
Or help us overcome them?

For each of us our fears may be different.
For one person their fear may be that they won't get their homework done on time because of everything else that they have going on.
For one person their fear may be that they won't every end up in a relationship because they are just too scarred and damaged from the things in their past.
For another their fear may be that they won't be able to come up with enough money to pay their bills because they just lost their job.
Our fears are all different. Some may seem insignificant to some people while others seem impossible to get past no matter what they try.
But to the person who has the fear it is huge and may seem beyond what they can handle.
They may feel that they are going to hit rock bottom, if they haven't already, and they don't see any way that they can possibly get back up and get going again.
Fears can cripple us to the point that we lose all hope.

Personally, I can relate to all of the examples I mentioned, not to every exact detail but to the generality. All with the exception of one that is.
While listening to the sermon on fear I realized that while I have all kinds of fears at different points of time, I have one that is consistent and that I keep trying to get over.
I am afraid of building a relationship towards the point of marriage.
Why is that?
Because I have seen more marriages than I count come crashing down and fail.
Because I have seen first hand the damage a man can cause physically, as well as psychologically and emotionally.
Because I have seen and experienced men walking out and abandoning their families just because they can't handle it or it wasn't what they wanted or expected.
Because I have learned the manipulative ways of men when they want something and don't want to hear the word 'No' as an answer.
I am afraid because my past is littered with memories and scars left behind from men who clearly thought I wasn't worth more than the meager bit of emotion and respect they could muster.
I am afraid because I don't want to end up in a relationship, and one day a marriage, that is full of anger, distrust, and abuse.
I have no desire to deal with any of that for the rest of my life.
And when a decent guy who happens to exceed my expectations I push him away because of this fear.
I am afraid that this fear is actually costing me the very thing that I want.

We are all afraid for different reasons, some may be similar to my reasons, while many more are far different than mine.
It really doesn't matter what the reasons are because those reasons are just enabling us to keep being afraid. They are what cause the fear to cripple us.
The fear and the reasons behind it hold us back from our dreams, our hopes, and our goals.

This fear comes from the devil and he uses it in every way that he possibly can in order to distract us and blind us from God's plan for our lives.
God's plan for our lives doesn't involve fear.
He doesn't want us to be afraid of all of these things.
He wants us to enjoy life and everything good that comes with it.
Including our ability to go to school and learn, our relationships with others, and even our jobs and income.
They are not bad things, but that fear isn't a good thing.
That fear can cause us to hold back from things, stress over them too much, and in many cases lose the very things that we dream for and long for.
Fear does not enable us, fear limits us.
If we give our fears to God then He can help us overcome them.
He can even use them to bring the good things back into our lives.
God's plan for each of us includes so much more than fear about all of these things.
God's plan includes hope, joy, and peace!
God is bigger than all of your fears!

I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Is Christmas Really Next Week??

18 December 2013

Hey everyone!!
Well it's been a short while since i've posted anything and i'm sorry for my absence, but it was needed as the last few weeks have been hectic with finals, job stuff, and figuring out travel plans.

So for a quick overview of my life lately...

About a month ago I got a haircut (finally!) and new glasses! These glasses were about two years late and much needed!

This was right before heading home for Thanksgiving!
The Saturday before Thanksgiving my youngest biological sister came to stay with me at school for a few days before heading to New York for the holiday. Doesn't she just look thrilled to be hanging out with me for a few days?? Lol, she did have a 13 hour train ride before that so...

Getting back from Thanksgiving in NY I had to spend the next two weeks doing homework, practicing piano, finishing up projects and presentations, and getting details of work figured out.
It was pure craziness and sleep was a rarity!
There was one night I only got about an hour and a half because my brain just wouldn't slow down.

I spent several evenings and mornings in Larsen in a practice room for many hours practicing scales, triads, accompaniments, and repertoire pieces.
I really just thought this was a cool picture to record my clearly dedicated and focused practice time... :)

I really didn't have any big finals as they were all chapter tests, with the exception of piano.
One test however was take home, which was wonderful! And another test was open notes so that was a true blessing!!

The last couple days of finals week I spent time with my roomies and my 'roomies'.
All of us will be reunited in January when classes start again, with the exception of one. Nellie will be spending next semester on the other side of the pond. She will be taking classes and living in London. It isn't going to be the same with her gone but I know that she is going to have a great time!! And that God is going to do some amazing things in her and through her while she is there!
Plus we will be Skyping her during weekly Bible study...
Probably not every time but every now and then!

Me, Alaina, Emma, Mary, Alyssa, Jess, Nellie... Anna was working :(
The picture above is all of us minus Anna, who was working if I recall.
This was from the beginning of the semester at the Block Party.
The eight of us have all been living together since freshman year and we will likely be living together next year as well!! Well most of us anyways... (Save that info for later!)

The Sunday after finals I got to be in the Journey Tots room and got to spend time teaching and playing with this adorable little man! Noah is pretty stinking cute!
And he is going to be a big brother in just a few months!! Yay! :)

The beginning of December I officially started working at my church through NAMB.
This will be my job through next November, with the likelihood of continuing for the year after that.
I will continue doing what I already do with a few added jobs.
It is a blessing to be able to work doing what I love and enjoy while in college!
And it fits with my major and minor!
What are the odds?!
It truly is a blessing and I thank God for this opportunity!

Starbucks with Beth, Mary, Alyssa, and Emma!!
This picture really has nothing to do with this post, but I do look forward to spending time with all of those lovely ladies again in the coming semester!

So that is a brief overview and I look forward to getting some more posts up soon and hopefully more regularly this coming year!!
Hard to believe Christmas is next week and New Years the week after that!!
Where has the year gone?

Anyways, time to finish up work and prep for youth group tonight!
God bless you all!!

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