I Will Go LORD, Send Me

22 July 2012

For years I have sat through church service after church service about missions.
I've listened to missionaries who were serving in all kinds of different world areas.
I've spent years wishing I could go to where they were and do what they were doing.
However, I always felt like I was getting a negative response from people about doing that.
It felt like people were trying to push me away from it.

So I haven't shared my thoughts about going overseas with very many people.
I would love to live overseas and to do mission work, especially with kids.
Or even doing something where I could work with my hands and help out.
I just want to be able to go do something.
Yet I feel like people will not understand when I tell them.

The last several months it seems as thought the topic of missions work has been a pretty steady and common part of my life.
I do not know why it just so happened to be at this time, but it did.
So for months I have been contemplating this idea.
I have looked at the websites of many a missions agencies lately.
The opportunities are numerous.
And I have found a few as of late that have a high focus on kids.
One is next summer in Jordan and I really, really want to go on that one.
The other is one that I want to do but don't plan on any time soon since it is a long term commitment.

There is just one thing that I am trying to figure out.
My major.
Currently I am studying Sociology and Criminal Justice.
Neither of those are exactly prime majors for doing missions work.
The thing is, I do not know what major to even consider for it.
And how do I go about getting my mom to agree with it.
And changing it now would be kind of crazy since I've already signed up for classes.
I just feel like I am totally and completely lost when it comes to this.
I've been asking God to show me what it is that He wants me to do, but I just really want to know what to do with all of this stuff going through my mind.

I have spent some time reading my Bible and I came across a verse that fit me.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying,
"Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here I am, Send me!"
-Isaiah 6:8

I just want to go where He wants me to go and I want to do what He wants me to do.
I just feel like i'm at a crossroad right now and I don't know what to do.
I am trusting that He will send me where He wants me.
I am praying that I'll be able to discern what it is He wants me to do.
It is all in His hands and I am anxious to find out what it all is.
(As soon as I typed 'anxious', Philippians 4:6 came to my mind. Irony.)

I have also been listening to (and signing) Starfield's song "I Will Go" a lot lately.

He needs people to go and I am willing.
I just wish I knew in what capacity He wants me to go in.
But like I said before, I am surrendering it all to Him and trusting in His plan.
It will all work out in accordance with His will and His timing.

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