28 April 2012

- reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence
- confident expectation of something; hope
- to rely upon or place confidence in someone or something
- to have trust or confidence in; rely or depend on
- to believe

It is amazing how much trust that gets put into various people and things every day. Earthly things are held on a pedestal unlike they were in Bible times. We trust that our car will get us where we need to go without breaking down. We trust that our computers will let us finish our work, our paper, or our project without crashing. We trust that our heater will work correctly all winter so we don't freeze. We trust light bulbs to work so that we can see without using a candle. We trust that our electricity will continue working so our food doesn't go bad and our technology will continue working. We trust that the locks on our doors will keep robbers, kidnappers, and arsonists our of our house while we are sleeping. We have a habit of putting our trust in earthly, material objects. There is also the overwhelming tendency to trust other people.

Have you noticed how we like to trust people with every part of our lives? Our hopes, fears, dreams, desires, wishes. Even a lot of times our safety. We as humans feel this undying need to have another human know it all and to care about it all. We want to trust them with all of ourselves. It is like we do not feel complete unless there is someone that we can put all of our trust in. As human beings this is just our nature. God has created us to want that human connection, to want to trust each other. Unfortunately, we are society, a world, that is utterly broken. This trust that we desire is given and received, but it is also far to often broken. It is taken advantage of and because of that we are taken advantage of. All too often we find ourselves all alone and on our knees crying out for someone to care, for someone that we can truly trust. The thing is, this is a never ending cycle. We trust someone with all of ourselves, they break that trust and we get hurt, we find ourselves alone with the pain, then someone comes along and ensures us that we can trust them. So we do. This goes on and on and on. It is one of the worst parts of society.

I know I have been apart of this cycle. I find a friend and we get close, I trust them with everything, all of my secrets, only in the end to have them leave me. I find myself alone and crying out, silently it seems all too often, for someone to care and for someone that I can trust who will not leave. It has been a never ending cycle my whole life. One that I hope will come to an end at some point in the near future. I do not know how much longer I can stand it. Thing is, friends come and go & relationships are not all that my life is centered on, but there is one relationship that we need. We need that relationship that we are all given at birth, or at least given a chance at. We need a relationship with our parents, both of them, mother and father. This is a relationship that is essential to our growth as humans, yet one that few get the chance of having these days. This is due to out of wedlock births, rape, adoption (sometimes), war, famine, divorce, and many other things. However, it seems like divorce is one of the most prevalent these days. Marriage are falling apart like it is nothing. The most important trust relationship two people can have on this earth and it seems like few people are able to maintain these relationships. I myself have witnessed more marriages fall apart than I care to even count. One of these being that of my parents. My father never truly cared. I listened to the fights at night over money, food, and other things. Due to my parents inability to have a healthy relationship I never ended up having a relationship with my father. I feel like I should have been able to trust him and I could not and still cannot. I see friends deal with the same thing, but while I am here at college I listen to all these girls talking about their dads and all the memories they have and will make. It hurts to know that the relationship that I should have trusted the most is the one that I do not have nor will I ever have. 

Trusting people is not something I do very easily at all. I do not feel like I can trust people therefore I do not open up to anyone because when I do they leave and I get hurt. I know that this is not something I should worry about because God has me in His hands and I can trust Him with every aspect of my life. Even when the rest of the world does not have my trust, God has it and I know that He is the only one that ever needs my full trust. His plans for my life are incredible I am sure and I have no doubt that He has someone down the road waiting for me who I will be able to trust completely. My trust is in my Heavenly Father and that is where I find my comfort, hope, and peace. God is my loving Father and I feel like the luckiest daughter in the world!

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