This past Sunday we started a new series at my church entitled "Chains". This series is all about discovering what our chains are and how we can break free of them. This week we discussed what our chains are.

So often when we speak of chains that are keeping us trapped and stuck we think of things such as your average addictions like alcohol or drugs. Yes, these are chains and they do keep us trapped, locked up and confined. They are terrible and they cause so much heartache. They keep us from living our true lives and fulfilling our purpose. Yet there are so many other chains in our lives. They come in a variety of forms, such as self-image, worry, fear, doubt and so on. They keep us locked in a place that we cannot get out of on our own. Chains such as these are often unrealized by us because we are so wrapped up in them.

Personally I have many, although some are bigger than others. One of the big ones is worrying about what people think of me or will think of me if I do something. This was a big one the end of last spring semester. I was looking at interning with my church and really felt like that was where I was supposed to be. I talked with my mom about it and she really fought me because she said I needed a real job. Working as a missions intern at my church without a guaranteed amount of pay due to raising funds on my own was not what she wanted me to do and she fought me and opposed me like none other. Yet I really felt like I needed to do it. I started off the summer without a guaranteed job and was not sure what God had planned but trusted that if He really wanted me here interning it would work out. I did not want my mom to be mad at me or think I was doing it just to spite her and do my own thing but I knew I needed to do it. So I got it all taken care of and I started out as a summer missions intern with no guaranteed pay. I put my faith in Him and trusted that He would provide the funds if I was supposed to be here. At the end of the summer He provided much more than what I hoped for and I no longer cared what my mom thought. I just knew that God had put me where I was supposed to be.

Another big one is my fear of being hurt again. I put up walls to keep myself safe and often it keeps me from pursuing the things that He puts in front of me. I am getting better about doing things much more openly and being vulnerable but it isn't easy. When I am vulnerable He always proves that it was far better for me than pushing it away and that I can trust Him not to put me in situations that will hurt me. 

There are so many other chains that I have in my life and I am working to give them to God and break free of them. It is a never ending process but I hope to continue to break chains as I get closer and closer to Him. There is so much freedom found in Him when we give Him the things that are chaining us and holding us captive. It is such a wonderful feeling to break free of them!

What are some chains in your life? How is. God helping you to break those chains? 

Living Like Jesus | Day 2

The daily reading was Luke 1:26-38.

Here is the link for an online version:

Luke 1:26-38 (NIV)

The SOAP reading was Luke 1:37-38.

37"For no word from God will ever fail." 38"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me according to your word." Then the angel left her.

1. The angel points out Elizabeth's pregnancy as a sign that God follows through on what He says, even in what may seem to be the most unlikely of circumstances.

2. Based on the wording of the passage, it seems as though Mary responds to the angel in a calm manner despite the utter confusion she must have been in throughout this encounter.

This passage points out the fact that we need to trust God even when we do not know what is happening or how it is happening. Verse 37 says that God's word never fails and we have to put all of our trust in Him and believer that this is the truth. If we trust Him completely then we will be able to more willingly and more easily surrender to His plan for out lives. We do not know what is going to happen in our daily lives, but we do know that God has promised us so much in His word and He will never fall back on those promises. What He says will happen, will happen. We make look at the circumstances and have no earthly idea of what He could possibly do to chance the situation for the better, but if we put all of our trust and our faith in Him then even the things that seem like impossibilities will happen. 

There will be days when we just look at our lives and think "There's no way this can turn out good."

We will probably also have a moment (or longer) where we think that even God cannot fix the situation and make it work out well and for His purpose.

However, God can surprise us with just how different a situation turns out despite our original thoughts about it.

We just have to willingly submit to Him and His plan and purpose for our lives.

We need to be like Mary.

We need to trust Him and wholeheartedly follow the path/plan He has laid out for us.

This plan may seem completely unrealistic, and maybe from the world's perspective it is, but we have God on our side.

God's plan will always work out even in the face of adversity and hardship.

And I would have to say that just living in this world is part of the hardship.

Yet we know that we will not succumb to the hardship and adversity because God will walk with us the whole way.

God's plans will not fail.

God's word will not fail.

GOD WILL NEVER FAIL. 

Here's The Thing About Ders...

Ok, so a lot of you that read my posts are also friends with me on Facebook.

Therefore you have seen various posts on there from me from the past weeks.

Many of these posts have been based in frustration about a lot of things that are going on.

Most of you, however, do not know what has been going on.

So here goes a basic recap of what has been going on these past weeks.

Three weeks ago I had my last day of full time work on Olivet's campus for the summer
That very same day I found out something that has completely changed everything.

My mom called to inform me that the judge had awarded full custody of my two younger sisters to our 'father'.

After four years of fighting against this, the worst happened.

Everything we had done to prevent this and it was all for nothing.

Or at least so it seems.

Our world came shattering down around us fast and hard.

Suddenly there were a million things that were starting to fall apart because of this ruling.

Financial issues regarding living situations, schooling, food, etc. were suddenly ten times worse than they were just hours before the letter arrived at the house.
We didn't have a clue how we were going to take care of everything.
We didn't know where money was going to come from or where we would be in a very short time.
We went from having things fairly well figured out for the near future to not knowing what was going to happen in the next couple of hours.
Emotions were (and continue) to run rampant.
Frustration, anger, sadness, fear, confusion, and so on and so forth.

Suddenly we had a million and one questions that needed answers, a lot of which we did not know.
What is the appeals process?
When can the appeals process be started?
How do we go about filing the appeal?
How long will the appeal process take?
When do the two girls move in with their father?
What will visitation schedule be for their mom?
What will happen in regards to finances?
What, if any, part of this will affect Shelbi and her schooling?
How do we pay for school?
How do we pay for rent for our house?
Etc, etc, etc...
The questions go on and on and they get more detailed and even harder to answer.
My mother and I have been working on answering these questions for the past few weeks.
It has been stressful and more times than not extremely frustrating.
Life is once again being completely controlled by lawyers, judges, and courts.
It is hard to sit back and watch them become the dictators of everything that can and cannot be done.
After years of it however, it is nothing new but it still is not something that is necessarily positive.

This all happened, with a lot more detail and emotion than I have shared but may share at some point, and I did not have any idea what I was going to do to make it through.
I was being faced with the very real possibility of not being able to stay here in Illinois at ONU.
It scared me and I did not know what I was going to do.
I did not want to leave and had more than a few break downs that first week.
One of those just so happened to be at my pastor's house.
(That was right after I had one in my apartment, which happened to include my lanyard flying across the room.)
I had a few more that first week, one of which resulted in my blowing off a good friend completely unintentionally.
Thankfully God has blessed me with friends who are understanding and are there for me even in my worst moments.
I ended up getting a job shortly after I found this all out.
I started that job the first week of classes.
Talk about stressing myself out and overworking myself.
So many things being thrown at me and a million things to learn and remember.
I'm still trying to get my feet firmly planted and a schedule set so I don't lose my mind.
Although I am pretty sure I lost it last week in amidst the craziness.
I keep being told of more things I need to do for classes, such as my multicultural hours for my Education class.
I have no idea how I am going to fit it in, but I hope I figure it out soon.
I am starting to enjoy work but at the same time I am not sure if I can keep the hours that I have right now.
I feel like there is a possibility that I might need a few less in order to fulfill my requirements for classes.

Well it has been a long few weeks.
God has been here through it all and I see Him in many different ways in the various situations.
But the devil has also been playing his cards throughout this whole situation the past few weeks.
He is constantly throwing in new things to tear me down and cause me to stumble.
Yet every step of the way I can see God working through it all.
It may not seem like it at the time but it is all working out the way that He sees fit.
At this point I am still at ONU and funds have been provided for me to stay for the year.
I don't know if that means I will be here next year.
I don't know what that means for the future at all.
I am currently in the process of possibly changing my major, so I don't even know what i'm going to be majoring in yet and that is kind of frustrating and makes it all hard.
But I am trusting God that will lead me in the direction that He wants me to go.
I do not know where that direction leads but I plan on following it where it takes me.
As long as it is in His will then it will not matter where it goes, but rather the things He has for me to do for His kingdom.
Even through the hardship, I know His way will prevail.

God Only Knows

You hear all about relationships these days.

Boyfriends & girlfriends, people who live together, friends with benefits, and on and on.

Some of these relationships, particularly boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, are encouraged at young ages these days.

Kids in elementary school think it is normal to have those relationships at those young ages.

I am not sure when this became acceptable for kids, let alone when adults started encouraging it.

I do know however that it is something that has been asked of me more times than I will ever be able to count in my lifetime.

The question of whether or not I had a boyfriend was asked off me throughout middle school and high school by family members and people from church.

The answer was always no however, since I never did date anyone.

Even if I had wanted to in middle school or the first two years of high school I couldn't have.

Why couldn't I have dated someone at that point?

Because my mom was strict about the rule of no dating before I was 16.

Not that it mattered much seeing as I didn't date anyone my last two years of high school either.

I got a lot of flack for it, but there wasn't any time for a boyfriend and there wasn't anyone in town that I would have even considered.

It wasn't necessarily that I didn't want to have a boyfriend, but rather that I was preoccupied with family issues and there were not many Christian guys in my town.

Although I managed to get through high school without people worrying about it, that didn't seem to last long after I left for college last August.

You wouldn't believe the number of people who asked if I was dating someone once I got to college.

Literally within the first two weeks my mom was already getting asked about it.

And the fact that I wasn't dating someone and still am not just about blows people's minds.

I have a group of friends that I hand out with and in that group there are only two couples.

My mom gets weird looks and questions from people about whether she is ok with that situation, and if so, why she finds it ok.

This just does not make much sense to me.

All people are worried about is whether or not I am dating someone.

Why doesn't someone ask about how things with school or church are going??

All this focus on dating makes it really hard to be ok with the fact that you're not dating anyone.

Even more so when it seems like everyone else is.

Why so much pressure for me to date someone?

I feel content to wait for God to bring the right man into my life, but it seems as though no one else is content to wait for that to happen.

God's timing is always perfect and I have no doubt it will be in this situation as well.

It is just hard to trust Him when everyone is constantly pushing.

They encourage trusting God, yet at the same time want to push me to date someone just because.

I feel like it is fairly contradicting.

Yes, I think it would be nice to date someone and have someone to share life with.

However, I do not think that I would make the correct choice in who to date if I were the one making the choice of which guy to date.
I also feel like I need to be content with myself and my walk with God before I get into a relationship.
I feel like i'm in that place but God hasn't brought a guy into my life who has made a move towards dating me.
Maybe there is a chance somewhere in the near future.
Maybe not for a few years down the road.
I am just waiting for God's timing.
He knows when the right guy will come along and He will make it work.
It is all about trusting in His will and perfect timing.
God has a plan for my life and my future relationships that I can't even imagine and I am extremely curious to know what His plan is.

"What The Junk??"

Hey y'all!!

I can't believe it has been almost a month since I have posted. 

I've been a little busy with work and church stuff.

Hmm, so I guess i'll do a quick recap of what I have been up to as of late.

Work is pretty much the same. Long days of cleaning.

I have climbed into far too many lockers, stoves, refrigerators, and other tight spaces for my liking.

(I'm not quite small enough for some of this...contrary to what many may say.)

I have to say that if it weren't for the people I work with I would absolutely positively hate my job.

Last Monday my mom (and her boyfriend) stopped into town and brought my futon and a tv for me. It is great to finally have furniture. (Not being able to get the remote to work the cable and having to settle for watching David Letterman's show for Gay Pride Week...not so much :/ )

After they left I made sure my bike was locked up and went inside to chill.

I came out the next morning (Tuesday) and my bike was gone.

Chain cut and thrown under the bush.

Not what I wanted to find at 6:30am when I had to be to work in 10mins.

However, yesterday (a week after it happened), Public Safety called and said they had my bike.

The police had found some guy riding it around town.

He picked it up off someone else for $15 for crying out loud.

It's good to have it back though.

Other than that things were not all that eventful until about last Thursday.

 But before getting into that I am going to share a little about the missions team at my church this summer.

North American Mission Board (NAMB) sends out Summer Mission Teams to churches throughout the country every summer. This summer my church, Journey Church, got sent one of these teams. There are 7 summer missionaries here, all college age. 

Two of them go to my school here in Illinois and the rest are from various other colleges and universities.

The 7 summer missionaries that we have here this summer are Andy, Malik, McKenzie, Kenan, Joel, Patrick, and Haley.

Andy and Malik are the two that go to school with me.

Most of the missionaries are from some part of Illinois with the exception of three.

Malik is from Maryland, Patrick is from Mississippi, and Haley is from Tennessee. 

The 7 of them are here at Journey to help out for the summer with various things.

As of late they have been going out into the community and going door to door giving out flyers promoting Journey and sharing what we are all about.

Friendship Festival 2012 (Bourbonnais, IL) Left to right: Andy, McKenzie, Patrick, Malik, Haley, Kenan, and Joel

The above picture is a group picture of the mission team.

This was right before we started walking in the Friendship Festival Parade.

Five of the guys, all except Patrick, had been practicing a bucket drum routine that they performed that morning in church and then while we were walking in the Parade.

They did a great job that morning at church as well as during the Parade!!

While the guys were doing their routine (part of the time walking the other part while riding on the float), we had several members of our church walking and passing out beads to kids and cards with our information to adults.

It was a great afternoon and one to be remembered for sure!!

Friendship Festival 2012- Getting ready to walk! (Me, Justine, and Haley)

 Here is another picture from the Parade. It is a bad one of me but the other two look good!

Ok, so now that I have shared a little bit about the mission team I will share a little bit of the last several days.

For anyone who has read my previous posts (which is probably no one...) then y'all know how bored I have been this summer. 

That has changed in large part because of the group pictured above, as well as other members of Journey Church.

This past week was the Friendship Festival (Wed. June 20th-Sun. June 24th).

I went a few times with this group.

Thursday night I went to the Festival with Andy and Malik.

A lady from church works at Great Clips and she had a booth so we stopped and talked to her for a while. Basically we just chilled there until the guys had band practice for Sunday morning.

We then went to band practice and I got to spend time with the most adorable little girl.

Her name is Cali and she is the daughter of our worship leader Nate and his wife Jill.

She is absolutely adorable and thanks to the guys makes a wide variety of animal noises by request. :)

We then went and spent the evening at Chad and Rachel's.

The next evening (Friday) we had a College Student...get together (??)...

We all met up at the church office and then went to the Festival.

Friendship Festival 2012- Back Row: Joel, Andy, Kenan, Emily (?), TJ, and me. Front Row: Derek, Haley, Malik, and McKenzie.

It was a great night!!

We had a couple of additions to the group before we left the Festival and headed to Steak N' Shake.

Steak N' Shake- Left: Haley, Jessica, Kenan, Andy, Justine, and me. Right: Erin (?), TJ, Joel, Malik, and McKenzie.

As you can see we are a decent sized group of college students (except for Emily...?).

(We have some lovely faces going on in this picture...lol)

Then Saturday I worked overtime. We had to turn over dorms for a camp that was coming for a day or two.

After work I went to the softball game. (Journey has a team and we play against other teams from the area. It is a fun outreach ministry and a great way to get to know each other!)

There was another missions group that came from another church to help out.

(I forgot where they came from.)

So we met them at the offices and helped finish bagging up the flyers for the guys to give out while going door to door.

Then dinner at Aurelio's.

Then the guys had to practice their bucket drumline routine and since I had nothing else to do I went with them and was their audience for the evening.

Sunday was a crazy busy day for all of us!

I had to be at church an hour earlier than usual in order to do nursery.

The guys had all been there for a while before I go there and were practicing their routine again.

After church we all went to Burger King to grab lunch and then headed out to BBCHS to get ready for the Parade!

We walked in the Parade for about an hour or so.

It was such a great way for us to reach out and be a part of the community!!!

(We also found out later on that we won the Director's Choice Award for out float and the church got a plaque and everything!!!)

After a crazy time of destroying the float and taking all the staples out of the trailer (which was graciously loaned to us for the afternoon from Jessica!!), we all headed back to Chad and Rachel's.

Little did we all know there was someone moving in next door.

We offered to help them finish moving their things in and they accepted.

So for the next hour or so the guys and I helped them unload their large moving truck.

We all pushed ourselves and I definitely went above and beyond my usual.

As we were helping them we got to talking to them and sharing about Journey and the missions team and everything.

When we got done we got a chance to introduce Mark and his family to Chad (Journey's pastor) and Rachel. We got a chance to share more about Journey and invite them to church.

It was such a great witnessing opportunity!! 

Who knew?!

We were all crazy tired and crashed in Chad and Rachel's living room for the rest of the evening.

Chad grilled up some hot dogs and sausage for dinner.

We all ended up watching The Ringer that evening.

(Joel can do a crazy good impression of one of the characters!!)

Overall the last several days have been crazy busy but I loved it!!

I also have to say that I think that God definitely used this past week to show me some things.

After all of it I feel like I am most definitely right at the place where God wants me to be for the summer, even if it is different to be here instead of at home.

God is doing big things in my life through Journey and through the mission team.

I could not have asked for a better summer.

God is showing me that sometimes the simplest of gestures can be the strongest witnessing opportunities that we can get.

Case in point when talking about helping Mark and his family move in.

How could we know that we would have that opportunity Sunday afternoon??

Yeah, we may have all been pushed beyond our limits both physically and in terms of our comfort zone, but look at how God used it!!!

His plan is far greater than ours and who knows what would have happened if we hadn't stepped out and offered to help them move all of their things into their house!

And I have to say personally that God has provided me an incredible group of friends for the summer, and hopefully longer, even when I didn't think I would meet anyone this summer.

I was not planning on all of this, but He is providing in more ways than I could have ever imagined!

These guys have been going out of their way to be chivalrous and to show that there are still guys out there who take it seriously and act on it.

I am not used to it at all and therefore it is weird for me, but at the same time it is incredible to be exposed to guys who want to go that extra step and open the car door, let me sit in the front seat, serve my food for me, or carry something for me (even when i'm obstinate about it...lol).

I was not expecting God to provide that kind of an example for me this summer, but I appreciate it.

(However, these guys are gonna have me all kinds of spoiled by the end of the summer!!)

(And if you guys read this...Thank you for being an example of what true gentlemen should act like! It is greatly appreciated even if I nag you about it!! I have never seen guys treat girls/women with the respect that you all do. You're all pretty amazing guys and i'm lucky to know you all!!)

Well, there ya have it!

A quick (sorta....) recap of my life as of late!

There is much more I could share but I will leave it at that.

God keeps surprising me daily and I am excited to see what is going to happen in the coming weeks and months of the summer!!! :)


***All pictures in this post are courtesy of the lovely Haley Richards, member of the NAMB Summer Mission Team***

What does it mean to be fearless??

To many of us to be fearless means that we are not afraid of anything.

We're not afraid of spiders, storms, flying, the dark, public speaking, and many other things.

But I want to change up the question a bit.

What does it mean to be fearless in living out your faith?

That changes things a bit.

Many of us may not even take a minute out of our lives to think about what it truly means to live out a faith and be fearless while doing so.

It doesn't mean we can't be afraid of the things I mentioned above, but rather that we are not afraid of standing up for the faith we believe in. It means that we should not be afraid of the outcomes

that we may face because of our faith. We cannot let ourselves be afraid of what others think

or might say about us because of our faith. We should not be afraid of being persecuted

for our faith or being called out because of it. 

Being afraid to share our faith and to live it out in our day to day lives.

People in other countries are being beaten, burned to death, shot, murdered, imprisoned, and being persecuted in many other ways because of their faith and their willingness to live it out daily.

These people do not denounce their faith or try to hide it in order to make their lives easier.

They do not try to pretend that they do not believe to protect themselves.

These people are living out their faith fearlessly.

What are we doing?

How are we living out our faith fearlessly?

Are we even challenged to live it out fearlessly in our society?

We are extremely lucky to live in the United States because we have the option to worship freely in public arenas, public schools, even public parks.

We are not restricted to underground churches that constantly have to change location.

We do not have to worry about our church buildings being raided.

We do not have to worry about law enforcement coming into our place of worship and arresting us.

We are free to live out our faith in every arena that we are in.

Yet for some reason we do not.

We do not truly live out our faith fearlessly.

We have gotten so comfortable in our little churches and going to services and doing our mission trips to various geographic ares.

We have let ourselves settle into routine.

We are comfortable.

I think it is time we made ourselves uncomfortable.

We need to step outside of our boxes and outside of our comfort zones.

Some of the most amazing opportunities to share our faith is in those moments where we are uncomfortable and outside of our little bubbles.

If God wanted this life to be easy and comfortable He would have made it that way.

But I do not think that He wanted this life to be easy.

What would be the point of it all if life was easy?

Life is hard but that is the beauty of it.

And living out our faith fearlessly is not easy.

It is not going to be easy.

But God wants us to do it anyways.

We need to be fearless in our faith so that we can advance His kingdom, so we can bring many more people to Him.

We have a mission and being fearless in our faith is the way we will succeed.

We can do all things through Him who gives us strength.

God will empower us if we have the desire.

It is time to live fearlessly.