Well...life has been like a whirlwind the last month or so. 

It seems like there is always something new going on and it keeps me busy.

Here's a quick recap...

I finished up all of my classes and took my finals the last week of April/first week of May.

I decided to stay in Bourbonnais for the summer.

I'm working with the Physical Plant here at Olivet as a Custodian.

I got an interview to work the Bears Training Camp but had to decline since I accepted the other position first.

My roommate for Block 1 is 22yrs old and doesn't clean up after herself (not a highlight...).

I will be rooming by myself for Block 2 and for Block 3 I will be rooming with the lovely Sarah High.

Celebrate Life!

I found out I get to go to Hastings and then St. Louis for family reunion for a whole week in July. (40 family members and two houses...this is gonna be fun!!)

I also found out i'm working for Cody Overocker's mom. (Surprise!!)

So that is a quick recap of the major parts of the last month.

I finished my second week of work on Friday by working overtime that night for 4 1/2 hours. I wasn't too thrilled with the idea of working that night, but it's time and a half so i'm not complaining

about the money I will be getting because of it!!

Oh, I also am officially down to a size 7 pant. Who said you only gain weight your freshman year of college?? The "Freshman 15" is not as prominent as you may think. It did make my day that I lost weight this year  and some of my friends did as well. However, there were a lot that gained weight, some more than the dreaded 15. 

I also must admit that Illinois weather during the summer is weird. It's going to take some getting used to. I miss the summer storms that we got back home on a regular basis.

I'm going to take a minute here to share a little about the current roommate situation.

I ended up agreeing to room with Sarah for the summer, however, unbeknownst to me there was someone who had been living in this apartment for the school year and opted to stay here for the short time she was staying for the summer. I didn't find this out until two days before I was set to move some of my things in. She told the RD that the apartment was move in ready. Little needs 

to be said other than it wasn't. I have found out over the last two weeks that she doesn't pick up after herself, yet she continuously reminds me about how mature she is for someone who is 22.

I have to disagree. Strongly.

I work custodial 8hrs every day and then I come back and the apartment is a complete mess. Why? Because this girl gets things out or makes food and then doesn't put things away or clean up the cooking mess. It is a half hour to an hour cleaning process just to clean the kitchen to the point of being able to make anything for myself to eat for a meal. It's ridiculous.

I have decided that this is a great chance for me to strengthen my ability to be patient in all situations. My friend Chris gave me a passage of scripture to encourage me about the fact that this is short term and that God has things under control. There is a good chance that a lesson will come out of all of this. I may not be sure what it is, but He knows and that is all that matters.

Well, now that I have spilled my thoughts real quick i'm going to work on some other things for a little while this afternoon. 

OH!! Also, I cannot wait for church next week!! We're having church at Perry Farms and then having a cookout afterwards! I'm just a little excited for this chance to get to know more 

of the people that I am currently going to church with!! It's a great opportunity

and I cannot wait to fully take advantage of it!!

GOD IS GOOD!!! 

Trust

noun
- reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence
- confident expectation of something; hope
- to rely upon or place confidence in someone or something
- to have trust or confidence in; rely or depend on
- to believe


It is amazing how much trust that gets put into various people and things every day. Earthly things are held on a pedestal unlike they were in Bible times. We trust that our car will get us where we need to go without breaking down. We trust that our computers will let us finish our work, our paper, or our project without crashing. We trust that our heater will work correctly all winter so we don't freeze. We trust light bulbs to work so that we can see without using a candle. We trust that our electricity will continue working so our food doesn't go bad and our technology will continue working. We trust that the locks on our doors will keep robbers, kidnappers, and arsonists our of our house while we are sleeping. We have a habit of putting our trust in earthly, material objects. There is also the overwhelming tendency to trust other people.


Have you noticed how we like to trust people with every part of our lives? Our hopes, fears, dreams, desires, wishes. Even a lot of times our safety. We as humans feel this undying need to have another human know it all and to care about it all. We want to trust them with all of ourselves. It is like we do not feel complete unless there is someone that we can put all of our trust in. As human beings this is just our nature. God has created us to want that human connection, to want to trust each other. Unfortunately, we are society, a world, that is utterly broken. This trust that we desire is given and received, but it is also far to often broken. It is taken advantage of and because of that we are taken advantage of. All too often we find ourselves all alone and on our knees crying out for someone to care, for someone that we can truly trust. The thing is, this is a never ending cycle. We trust someone with all of ourselves, they break that trust and we get hurt, we find ourselves alone with the pain, then someone comes along and ensures us that we can trust them. So we do. This goes on and on and on. It is one of the worst parts of society.


I know I have been apart of this cycle. I find a friend and we get close, I trust them with everything, all of my secrets, only in the end to have them leave me. I find myself alone and crying out, silently it seems all too often, for someone to care and for someone that I can trust who will not leave. It has been a never ending cycle my whole life. One that I hope will come to an end at some point in the near future. I do not know how much longer I can stand it. Thing is, friends come and go & relationships are not all that my life is centered on, but there is one relationship that we need. We need that relationship that we are all given at birth, or at least given a chance at. We need a relationship with our parents, both of them, mother and father. This is a relationship that is essential to our growth as humans, yet one that few get the chance of having these days. This is due to out of wedlock births, rape, adoption (sometimes), war, famine, divorce, and many other things. However, it seems like divorce is one of the most prevalent these days. Marriage are falling apart like it is nothing. The most important trust relationship two people can have on this earth and it seems like few people are able to maintain these relationships. I myself have witnessed more marriages fall apart than I care to even count. One of these being that of my parents. My father never truly cared. I listened to the fights at night over money, food, and other things. Due to my parents inability to have a healthy relationship I never ended up having a relationship with my father. I feel like I should have been able to trust him and I could not and still cannot. I see friends deal with the same thing, but while I am here at college I listen to all these girls talking about their dads and all the memories they have and will make. It hurts to know that the relationship that I should have trusted the most is the one that I do not have nor will I ever have. 


Trusting people is not something I do very easily at all. I do not feel like I can trust people therefore I do not open up to anyone because when I do they leave and I get hurt. I know that this is not something I should worry about because God has me in His hands and I can trust Him with every aspect of my life. Even when the rest of the world does not have my trust, God has it and I know that He is the only one that ever needs my full trust. His plans for my life are incredible I am sure and I have no doubt that He has someone down the road waiting for me who I will be able to trust completely. My trust is in my Heavenly Father and that is where I find my comfort, hope, and peace. God is my loving Father and I feel like the luckiest daughter in the world!

Ya Just Gotta Have A Little Faith

So I have been looking at the possibility of staying in Illinois for the summer and working.

I have applied for three jobs, a summer RA position, a job painting, and a job working security for the Bears Training Camp. I also applied for summer housing. I had to turn in the summer housing application and the summer RA application at the same time, but I turned them in more than a week early. So I am not sure what to expect with that, but I am hoping that I can get the RA position.

I did get a call about the painting job this afternoon while I was in my Finite Mathematics class. I have to call the lady back tomorrow and do an interview of sorts. I am excited but nervous all at the same time. I really hope that I can get this job so that I can stay here for the summer.

It just proves that trusting God to provide can work for your advantage. If it fits into His plan and His will for your life then there is a good chance that it will happen. I hope that this fits into His will for my life and that I will be able to walk in His light through whatever He brings me to this summer, whether that be a job here in Illinois or going home and working and sponsoring district events.

I believe that it will all work out for His good and to His glory.

My life is His.

I'm running to You, oh Lord

 

Chapel this morning was amazing!!!

I went in expecting the same ol' chapel service we always have twice a week...we get announcements, we worship for around 10minutes (sometimes a little longer) and then a speaker

gets up and speaks for the rest of the time.

The speakers are always good, although sometimes I think they are used to speaking to older groups of people, so their messages are not necessarily focused on college students. I have liked a handful of the speakers we have had in chapel so far this year, however, I have always wished that we could just have a chapel where we just worshiped through music and a few scripture verses.

That's it.

Music and Scripture.

It had yet to really happen, so I did not expect it to happen today. 

Boy was I surprised...in a good way...when I realized that that was exactly what chapel was going to be like today. My morning was pretty much made by this fact. I was so excited and it made for

a great to start to a lovely day, weather included.

It was so nice to be able to just sing, lift my hands, and worship God through the music. I have always been a big believer in worshiping Him through music because that is how I feel that I connect 

with Him the best. I feel like I can just get lost in the music with my eyes closed and my hand lifted high. No distractions, just me, the music, and God. It is such an incredible experience to just listen

to Him through the music. He speaks in so many ways and my favorite is through music. 

It was so good to just let go, breathe, and open up my heart and mind to Him this morning.

It has been a while since I have been able to do so.

I definitely needed that this morning as well.

I ended up spending around an hour and half this evening just listening to worship music and thinking about the words. It is amazing that we are completely forgiven for everything in our past, our present, and our future. God gives us His everlasting love and his never-ending grace and mercy. 

How beautiful it is to realize that we can be healed and washed clean because God

loves us so much that He sent His only Son to die for our numerous sins.

I cannot adequately express my gratitude to Him for the fact that 

I am completely free because of Jesus dying for me.

No words can fully express how thankful

I am for His sacrifice on the cross.

So very thankful.

 

London Calling

Well it has been a while since I posted on here, but I am thinking that this may become my main way of sharing what is on my mind and what is happening in my life everyday or at least weekly.

Things have been going good, but they get busy and tiring at times. With five classes on Mondays and Wednesdays, one on Thursday, and three on Fridays, it can get crazy. However, I have noticed that by having Tuesdays and pretty much all day Thursday off that I rarely see anyone and I tend to sit in the dorm and do homework. I feel like I am being very antisocial this semester. This drives me crazy. I am trying to work on it, but it is hard. It is also getting close to being mid-way through the semester already which is crazy to think about. It seems like we just got back and in just two and a half months we will all be leaving again. I do not know what to think about the fact that this first year will be over so quickly. I do not know what to think about any of it. It is all coming to an end so fast. There have been so many crazy times this year and I am sure many more to come in the next couple months.

The last few weeks I have been constantly getting this feeling about eventually doing an internship and working overseas, particularly in London or Paris. This seems crazy to many people but it is something that I have considered seriously before and I feel like it has been drawn to my attention even more these days. I am praying about it and if it is a God thing and a part of His will then it will happen on His terms when it is supposed to happen. I have been looking at internships for the summer after my sophmore year of college and trying to pick the best one. I find this to be something rather exciting to think about and ponder about. I see pictures all over my other blog from London and Paris and it makes me long to be there again so much. I have only ever been to Paris but it was incredible and I would take any chance I could to go there again. I am curious to see what He holds for me in the coming years and if maybe this is a part of His plan for my life. I feel that if it is then it will happen when it is supposed to and how it is supposed to.

Hmm, a lot to think about but something very exciting as well...