Throughout this past school year I watched many, many friends and classmates get their "Ring by Spring", a.k.a. get engaged. Some of them were close friends and some were just acquaintances from classes. Either way there hit a point where I wondered if our whole class was going to be engaged before the school year was over. It was an exciting time for them and I was just as excited for them as they embarked on this new stage of their lives. Many of our conversations have revolved around dresses, shoes, flowers, locations, decorations, number of bridesmaids and so on. I've seen and skimmed more wedding magazines in the last year or so than I have in my life. Wedding talk was a norm throughout this school year and for the most part it was fun. I really enjoyed being able to help them bounce ideas around and flesh some things out. There were some days though where it was hard to sit there and listen to all this talk of weddings when you're sitting there single.

The group of us girls and the group of guys we interact with have made the joke that all but a couple of us are single. There were two engagements in my fairly immediate groups of friends. There are one or two dating couples. The majority of us though are still single with no likely prospects on the horizon. Now that is not saying that we all don't have our eye on someone because we definitely do (at least most of us). It's just that the likelihood of any of us actually coming to be in a relationship with the person we have our eye on is either pretty slim or we're friends with the person and there would be a lot riding on that decision if we moved forward. 

We all are enjoying being a part of our friends' weddings and getting to share and celebrate them as they make this transition into married life. It is so exciting to see them taking these steps together! Yet I know that sometimes it is hard to be surrounded with so many people getting married when you have yet to end up finding someone to even date. It can be a bit of a downer, especially for those of us who are going into our senior year of college and are all going to be 22 or 23 within the next year and a half or so. I know that some of our sentiments regarding marriage comes from how we grew up and the college that we attend, but it can still be discouraging. Throw in parents, extended family and church family asking every time they see you if you're dating anyone yet, if you're interested in anyone and if there is anyone you would like to eventually marry. Or a myriad of other questions dealing with the subjects of dating and marriage.

Personally I get my mom and grandma asking me when me and a close friend of mine are going to start dating and eventually get engaged. In recent months church family here has started asking if anything is going to happen between the two of us. I don't know if anything will happen. Although we have been throwing out the idea of getting married for almost two years. We've talked about it pretty seriously multiple times, but haven't acted on it. One of the main benefits being reduced tuition at school. We've legitimately talked about it multiple times and pretty much everyone I know has said that they think it would be great. My family thinks that it would be absolutely wonderful in every way, even the family who hasn't met him. Yet here we sit both single and while being pretty serious about it we aren't making any serious moves that direction.

It just gets a little hard watching multiple weddings this summer (i'm in the double digits so far...) along with other engagements. But I am trusting God with it even when it's hard. He has a plan and I know it is good. I just need to remember that things will fall together in alignment with His plan when they are supposed to.

This song came to my mind yesterday and it pretty well describes most of my thoughts lately. Enjoy!

One Of My Present Dilemmas...

At this time of night I really just feel like being completely honest with you all. It may take me a minute of rambling to get there but I really feel that I need to just open up. It's been said that people like to read posts that are written by people who are genuine. Well, I want to be really genuine with you all tonight/this morning. My heart has really been heavy the last couple months about a particular topic and I have talked about it some with Kristin, but not as much as I feel like I need to. While those talks have helped, I really felt a need to share this with my followers & fellow bloggers. So here it goes...

The last couple months have really been rough for me in the area of relationships. I find it extremely hard to be one of the very few of my friends who are still single. I keep getting Facebook messages & news feed updates about friends getting engaged, married, and even having kids. Yet I sit around eating food, listening to sappy love songs, and reading blogs. I really have this desire to have a relationship and get married in the future. Thing is...watching all my friends get engaged and married makes me extremely impatient with the whole waiting thing that I seem to be doing. I know that God has a plan for me and that His plan in this particular area of my life will be far better than anything I could dream of. Yet I find it hard to just sit back and trust Him about it. I just want to move things along.

It also hasn't helped that i've had a few rough experiences with guys in the past year, one of which has really had a fairly negative affect on me. It is not that these guys were bad guys. They were all Christians, some stronger than others, and we had a lot in common, but the timing was just off. I don't know if things will change in regards to any of them in the future but at this point they are not in the picture in that manner anymore. It is hard to not sit around and wonder why I have went almost 21 years now without a boyfriend/relationship and at this point it seems as though the prospects are few and far between. It is hard not to wonder what's wrong with me and if i'm doing something that is pushing them away unintentionally. I know that I do have some things that I do subconsciously and I am working on fixing those. It can just get hard when everyone around you seems to be in a relationship and you're just kinda sitting on the sidelines by yourself.

I definitely feel that this will not be the case forever, but there are moments when I even question that. It is just hard to wait when you hit that age where everyone else is getting married and you still haven't had a single boyfriend. Everyone asks about who you are interested in and asks why you aren't dating anyone and other such questions. I really just wish I no longer had to deal with that. But I know that part of the waiting process is having patience. It will all work out how it is supposed to.

I hope I didn't make this too repetitive or anything, but this has just really been something that I am struggling with. I know this isn't a super specific post and maybe later i'll be more specific about it, but for now I think i've shared enough of the basics. My hope is that this does not seem like complaining because it is not. This is just something that has been on my heart lately and has been a big struggle.



Have any of you been in this situation or felt the same? What are some things that you have done that helped make it easier? Have you learned anything in your period of waiting?