A couple days ago I came across an article that someone shared on Facebook. This particular article talked about traits of youth who didn't leave the church after high school. It focused on three traits of those of us who stayed connected with a church. (Here is the article: http://www.faithit.com/3-common-traits-of-youth-who-dont-leave-the-church/#.U9cNAFwS0Zk.facebook) These were the traits they focused on:

1. They are converted

2. They have been equipped, not entertained

3. Their parents preached the gospel to them

After reading through the article I just had to share it because what it said resonated with me. Since I was on of those church kids who was there as much as I could (basically anytime the doors were open...), I could have easily fallen on either side of things based on home life and such. Yet here I am at 21 years of age serving in a year long internship position at my church here in Illinois where I moved to for school. I stayed connected with the church even though I was frustrated with it when I left for school. As I read through the article I couldn't help but think that these reasons that were stated were a big part of the reason why I am still connected and serving in and alongside a church. 

The first point is a big one. So often students proclaim that they are Christians and they attend all of the events and are at the church every Wednesday night and Sunday morning. Yet I have to ask...How many of those students are truly converted? How many of them have truly given their life to Him and are seeking daily to follow Him? How many are hearing what we say but in reality are not letting it change them? I'm going to take a guess that the number is higher than any of us want to admit. Yes, the events are fun and it is awesome to have a great attendance, but are they learning and growing while they participate is the question. We need to be teaching them and talking to them with the intent of conversion. We need to pray that God would do a mighty work in their lives and bring them wholly to Him. We can teach them and preach to them week after week and at event after event, but what good is it if they don't experience that true conversion. We should want them to be hungry to know more about Him and to want to serve Him, which is what happens when they give their lives to Him.

This second one really hits a note with me. So often the focus of youth group is merely to entertain the students for an hour or two and maybe throw in a short Bible study time. Nothing to fancy or in-depth, but enough to make it seem like we know what we are talking about and that they are getting something of substance. We get focused on the number in attendance instead of the learning and growth that should take place. Growing up in a church that had activities going on year round both locally and on the district, I am totally an advocate for having good times full of harmless fun and pure goofiness!! Yet I have seen and experienced first hand what happens when we take the focus off of equipping students and put on the fun. How can we expect students to go out and stay connected with a church or share the gospel when we don't equip them with the tools to do so? Once a student has converted and has accepted Him it is our job to help disciple them and teach them so that they can go out and do the same with others. Students should be leaving our ministries knowing how to study their Bible, how to read their Bible, and how to disciple others to become followers. If they don't know these simple things, what good are we doing?

This last one is where I could have went either way when I left home. My mom was a Christian but my father wasn't. So the messages were mixed at home. Yet my mom made us go to church and participate in the various ministries. Did I always enjoy it? No. Did I learn and grow from it? Absolutely. She shared about Jesus at home and faith focused conversation was commonplace. My mom worked in children's and youth ministry, my grandpa was our pastor, and all of my extended family worked or served in ministry to some degree. So as my mom has said, I had no choice. I grew up in it and have now found myself getting a ministry degree in college and serving in various ministries in my church. My mom made sure that the gospel was a part of our lives, whether at home, at church or elsewhere. This is such a key part of raising children who walk with Him faithfully. 

Sadly, so many youth are walking away from the church. This happens often once they have left high school and are on their own. I think that if we want to start keeping our students in the church as they become young adults we really need to make sure that these three things mentioned above are a key part of their lives. For some students the various aspects of this will look different because of life situations, but it can still happen. Students come out of youth group often times lacking the basic knowledge of how to share their faith and what it really means. This alone causes many problems. Throw in lack of support or lack of information coming from home, a church environment focused on attendance and lack of a true conversion...suddenly things are a mess. 

We can so easily fix this for our students. Am I saying it is easy? Not at all. Am I saying that it would be worth it? YES. For us and for them. These students need us to step in and show them what it means to be a true follower. We don't have to have it all together or have all the answers. We just need to be genuine with them. We need to teach them what the Bible says and show them ways to share their faith. As they are leaving home to go to college, especially out of town, we need to encourage them and maybe even help them to find a place to plug in. 

One other aspect, we need to teach parents how to share their faith in their homes. We can do all of this with students but if they are getting a different message at home it makes things so much more difficult. Helping parents to grow in their faith and learn how to disciple others, especially their children, can make a huge difference.

What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the points or disagree? How do you think we can best help our youth? Have you seen something done in ministries at your church that have helped this?

God Bless!

Are We Really Showing Love Like Jesus?

     An anon that I follow on Twitter posted about a lesson that her youth pastor did on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. He had the teens read the verse and every time the word love came up they were to replace it with their name. He used this as a way to show them that we do not really love like Jesus. Out of curiosity, I want to take a closer look at this.

Here is the original passage:

     Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. -1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Here it is with my name inserted where the words love and it come up:

     Shelbi is patient, Shelbi is kind. Shelbi does not envy, Shelbi does not boast, Shelbi is not proud. Shelbi does not dishonor others, Shelbi is not self-seeking, Shelbi is not easily angered, Shelbi keeps no records of wrongs. Shelbi does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. Shelbi always protects, [Shelbi] always trusts, [Shelbi] always hopes, [Shelbi] always perseveres.

Take a moment if you wish, to read it with your name inserted or to write it down.

     Looking at things that way changes the whole meaning of what love is and how we show it to others. While reading that I realized just how many of those I am not good at, nor do I do on a regular basis. Yet we as Christians are supposed to love like Jesus loved. Jesus loved just like this, which means we should love this way as well. Yet how often do we pay attention to whether or not we are loving this way.

I know personally that I do not pay attention to whether or not I am doing these things.

     Patience. I am not patient all the time. Some times I just get tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, stressed, or any number of things, and any semblance of patience is lost. Now I may be able to stay patient for quite a long while, but eventually I get worn down and I grow impatient. God has definitely been working on me in regards to this matter over the last year or so. However, there are still times when I realize that I need to be more mindful of my patience. I may not always voice my impatience out loud, but a lot of times I may dwell on it in my mind, which is just as bad as talking about it out loud. I have to ask God to work on my patience on a daily basis.

     Kindness. This one can go hand in hand with patience. I am generally kind regardless of my patience, but some times I am not in a good mood or have had a bad day and I do not always treat or react to people in the kindest manner. I am working on this on a regular basis.

     Envy. Although this is something that many people do not want to talk about, at least not on a regular basis, it is something that is highly prevalent in our daily lives. Personally I know that I often do deal envy on a fairly regular basis. It may be about something something or it may be about something more serious and more personal. While what I am envious of may change and may not be of the greatest importance, but the fact that I am envious at all is a huge deal and something that I need to ask God to help me with  on a daily basis.

     Boasting. Some times it just feels good to tell people about what we did and how great we did at it. However, some times we take it a little too far and we talk about how much better we are than someone else or how much praise we got from someone in regards to something, or any number of things. While I do not do it often, I do find myself dealing with this every now and then.

     Proud. I do not even have to go into detail. This one is simple and straight forward and I deal with it often.

     Dishonoring Others. I also do  not think I need to go into detail on this one (at least not at this point), but I do have moments some times where it does happen, even if it is unintentional.

     Self-seeking. Although I may not like to admit it, I do half a lot of selfish tendencies. These tendencies are not beneficial for me or for anyone else I come into contact with. This is something that we are taught to think of as something that is not an issue, but as Christians we know that it is a very big issue. One that can wreak havoc in our lives and it keeps us from being able to show love in the way that we should.

     Easily Angered. Another one that I feel that I do not need to go into detail on. I definitely do need to work on not being so easily angered and I need to make sure that I ask God to help me in this area.

     No Records of Wrongs. I definitely do not go into this one. I need to make sure to ask God to help me to not hold grudges and dwell on them. It is not beneficial to me or anyone else.

     I could keep going but I do not want this post to be too long. I could most definitely go into far more detail with all of these things, which would ultimately make my point. We do not do as well as we should when it comes to how we love others like Jesus. We want to say that we are showing His love through numerous things, but are we really showing it in the way we act and in are attitudes? Do they reflect Jesus' love to those we come in contact with?

     I think that this is a good reminder for all of us to make sure that we are paying attention to ourselves and asking God to work on us in all of these areas. We will never be perfect here on Earth, but He can help to shape us towards being more like Him on a daily basis. With His help we have the ability to show His love to those around us in the best way possible. Looking at love in this manner is not natural for us, but I think it is something that we should be doing on a regular basis. It is really humbling when we do so.

We are to love like Jesus and I think this is a great way to evaluate whether we are or not.

Are you showing love like Jesus? Or do you need to work on somethings with the help of God?

Perfect Imperfection

So for those of you who do not know the story behind the above picture, here's a quick recap for ya:

I went hiking with some girls from my floor last year and a handful of guys from our brother floor. We went to Perry Farms and we were going along fine, but as only I can do, I managed to cut open my leg. I don't know exactly what happened or where I cut it because I just kinda looked down and was like "Oh hey! My leg is bleeding!" My RA then proceeded to tell me to go find the other RA who had the First Aid kit. After bandaging myself up, getting through with our hiking trip, and going to Walmart for guaze, ointment, and an ACE bandage, I cleaned it up and realized that it was a fairly straight and smooth cut. It is roughly a foot or so in length.

So this is an old picture and not a new one, but you can imagine that it left a nice scar up my left calf.

The scar has slowly faded in some spots, but for the most part is still highly visible.

I have been told by people in my immediate family and some other people that I am close with that because of this scar I am now imperfect and that I need to find a guy who likes imperfections.

Talk about a blow to your self-esteem right there.

I took that hard and for a while tried to cover it up whenever possible to avoid the stares and questions.

This went on for a short while until I realized that it didn't matter what people thought.

It is still hard though for me to realize that the right guy won't care if I have a scar running the length of my calf.

It's still something that I am kinda self-conscious about even though I have no reason to be.

It was an accident and something unavoidable.

Yet due to comments by other people I feel like it is something that detracts from my outward appearance.
It shouldn't make an impact, but it inadvertently does.
It is a physical blemish that cannot be erased.
It is a mark on my skin that has a story behind it.
It is a stigma that gets looks and unnecessary comments.
It is not what most would call beautiful yet it is a part of me.

 This is just one of many scars that I have physically, which is only part of a long list that includes inward scars.
Some of these have been accidental and due to things that were not in any way my fault.
Some of these were self-inflicted, as much as I hate to admit it.
I have more scars than a lot of people, but not nearly as many as some.
The causes for them vary all the way across the spectrum.
I have scars that I actually have no clue where they came from.
I have scars that I can tell you exactly what I was feeling, where I was, who I was with, and what time of day it was when it happened.
I have scars on my feet, ankles, legs, and knees from various sports, activities, and stupid stunts i've done.
I have scars on my arms and hands from the same things.
I have scars that are not noticeable unless I point them out, but then I have ones like the one on my leg that are blatantly obvious.
I also have scars on my hand and wrist that, although sort of obvious, I purposely try to hide and not draw attention to.
Why do I try not to draw attention to these scars?
I try to avoid drawing attention to them because they were not caused in any way by an accident.
They are there due to acts that were done on purpose.
They are physical signs of pain, hurt, and rejection I was feeling.
They are signs of weakness that I couldn't hold in anymore but didn't know how else to express.
They are marks that show my moments of succumbing to temptation.
These scars cannot be erased either.
They are permanent marks that are evidence of my weak, human state.
They are evidence of times that I gave up hope.
They are signs of utter despair and depression.

There is also another side that they display.
They show where God has brought me from.
They show me, as well as others, what I have overcome and survived.
They are signs of strength, courage, and determination.
They are reminders to myself that even in weakness I am strong through Jesus.
Though the world may judge me because of them, God loves me despite them.
Although many tears flowed when they were caused and many since then, there is joy because I am no longer caught by the lies that told me to cause them in the first place.
Though there is still pain in my life, I no longer have any desire to express it this way.
They are signs that I have hope in my Lord Jesus Christ.

I could go on and on with a list of scars that I have inwardly.
Brought upon by heartache, pain, sorrow, hurt, lies, anger, bitterness, broken promises, rejection, confusion, and so much, much more.
These scars cut deep and they resonate within me.
They are being healed by the Great Healer.
However, there are times when those scars bring back memories and emotions that physically upset me.
They tear me apart inside at times.
One comment or remark, a song, a quote, a magazine article, or a post on Tumblr.
These have all caused those memories and emotions to surface.
I am falling apart inside because of them, but I give them to God.
He is working to help me get past them and to heal them.
There are good things that can come from them, even if it may not seem so.

Though society, including friends and family, may view all of my scars as imperfections, God doesn't.
I feel like God was most likely just sad when He saw what was causing the scars.
I feel like that deeply hurt Him.
Yet He sees them not as imperfections detracting from my beauty, but rather as merely marks of my past that show how far He has brought me.
He sees me as beautiful in Him regardless of the scars.
Whether outward or inward, accidental or on purpose.
They are not imperfections in the eyes of the Father.
God looks at the heart not at the physical body or outward appearance.
So my scars are not anything to be ashamed of as long as I have asked for help and for forgiveness for those that were caused intentionally.
God has already healed me on numerous levels and He is working continuously.
I may not be blemish free and I will never be perfect.
But I am perfectly imperfect through His love and I have no problem with that.
I rejoice in my victory through God!